7 months!!

As of last week "the baby" as I affectionately call our 5 1/2 year old has been home 7 months!  How can that be!  I will admit that the last 7 months have challenged me and frustrated me and wounded my pride and blessed me more that I ever thought possible.  Not just in my parenting of Sarah but with all three of my kids.  When Will had his first wreck last week I told Shane that was proof that I had not yet had all I could take!  The Lord is teaching me to lean and press into Him.  I know its is only going to get crazier from here as we add Emily to our family but I have a total peace about that.

The last month was busy, busy.  We finally finished up school and we were all glad.  Everyone of us.  It was year y'all but we did it.  Moving on to 11th grade, 8th grade and preschool.  Will is done with Spanish and we all sang the hallelujah chorus.  I told the big kids one day when I left them at home that I wanted the backpacks cleaned out and all the school stuff put up while I was gone.  I came home an hour later and smelled a strange smoky smell.  I found them in the backyard standing over the fire pit literally burning their notebooks.  A couple of days later I saw what I thought was a novel half burned in there.  I picked up preparing my speech about not burning books when I saw it was the Spanish/English dictionary.  I put it back.  Done I tell you!!

We were concerted and programmed  out by the end of May.  When school was finally out I breathed a deep sigh a relief and then this happened.

I tried for a good long time to come with a reason he couldn't drive himself to baseball the next day but there just wasn't one.  So off he went.  He hit a little snag a week or so ago but we've all been there so it's all good.

How do you know summer has started?  Roo cups of course!

I had my first Mother's day as a mother of three and we celebrated by having Sarah's Dedication at church.  I'm pretty sure she thought she was supposed to be singing and she lost a shoe half way through but it was a sweet day.

We went to Birmingham for an MRI.  Why all the way to Birmingham?  We love going to Children's of Alabama.  It is a great hospital.  The International Adoption Clinic is there and we love them!  They were able to get us in much sooner there than we could have here in town so we took a road trip.  More on that later.

She played in the splash pad for the first time and loved it!  It is so fun to watch her in completely new situations.  She had absolutely no idea what to do at first.  But after watching some other kids and the help of Jenny and her friend, Isabelle she finally figured it out!

She got a new rock box and has loved playing on the slip and slide.  It has become somewhat of a routine now to spend an hour or more outside after dinner on the porch chatting with the big kids while Sarah slips and slides.  And cackles laughing!

A big deal this month was getting her new AFOs.  They have helped tremendously with her mobility.  She was getting around ok but as she became more and more active her left foot especially was beginning to drop and drag and she was hyper extending her knee.  Her flexibility was improving but her toe walking was not.  She was more active than she had ever been allowed to be and she was beginning to fall and trip.  These have given her so much more stability and she is doing great in them.  She even ends of somewhat flatfooted now with them off.  They have been a great for her and I happen to think they look cute!  They do of course make her different.  They invite comments from strangers like, "Whats wrong with the baby's legs?"  But I just answer and move on.  There are sweet moments too like talking with the janitor at Madison central after she saw Sarah in them about how her  granddaughter has pink ones too and the precious gentleman I met the DMV who is a Shriner and told me all about how he used to drive parents and children to St. Louis to Shriner's hospital.    

And then of course this happened.  "Will watch Sarah for just a minute please."  This is what I come back too.  

 She adores him.  They had a bit of a slow start since he wasn't in China but man she loves him now.  He's loud and silly and so much fun!

And he watches "Let it Go" with her.

She went to VBS for the first time.  She loved it.  She has learned the sign for church and knows where she is going when we say "church".  This was her reaction.  I love that!

It rained a lot so we just played in the bubbles in the sink.  That's why God made mops.  Kept her busy for 30 whole minutes which in Sarah world is like a whole day!

She had her passport picture made so she can get a US passport.  I wish you could have seen the Walgreens guy and me making big ole fools of ourselves trying to get this picture.  It would have made good television.  Sarah has a Chinese passport but because she is now a US citizen she can not travel on the Chinese passport.  I have her Chinese passport though and pulled it out to see if there was a difference in the pictures.

Just a little difference.  Gracious.  That takes my breath away!

She started going to gymnastics one day a week at The Little Gym.  I think it will be good for her.  She is in a three year old class and it's pretty relaxed and she LOVES it.  The teacher told me she seemed a little distracted this week.  That made me laugh.  He keeps telling her to sit against the Big Green Wall while loud music is playing.  I keep reminding him that if she happens to hear him over the music words like big and green and wall mean absolutely nothing to her.  Sit she understands but again only if she can hear you.  Its a process.  A long process.

It is easy to make life look rosy and perfect in pictures and for the most part things are going so well.  We pretty much have all our medical stuff with both Jenny and Sarah worked out and a good routine of therapies scheduled.  She was doing so well at PT that we are stretching it out to once a month for awhile.  She goes to speech once a week.  That is a slow slow process and it is very easy for me to get discouraged.  I have to remind myself over and over just how many cards this sweet child had stacked against her.  Our ENT put it best when he said that the 2 things that can cause the biggest developmental delays in children are undiagnosed hearing loss and a neglectful environment.  Stacked on top of each other for 5 years and we are starting from scratch.  She basically had no access to language until just a few months ago.  She is understanding a lot of what we say.  She associates words and signs quickly now.  I can teach her a new sign in just a day or two.  She has a few words that only we can understand.  We think we will get there but it is going to take years.  Years.  

Her MRI showed some significant sinus issues so we will be dealing with that soon and I hope it will help with a few lingering issues.  And maybe help with sleep.  

She is going to go the Covenant Preschool next year a couple of days a week in a three year old class. I've second guessed that a time or two but it is what we feel like is best for her.  I have sought out opinions from every professional we see and they all agree that it is a good place to start.  She is behind deveoplmentaly but also cognitively.  I want to say here that we knew that going in.  We knew these would be issues we dealt with.  We still don't know what her potential is and I am hesitant to have her labeled too quickly by the school system.  When the time comes in another year or so we will go down the SPED and IEP roads and I am prepared to do that but for now I just want to follow developmental steps in order.  So what if she is behind, I want her to get the chance to be a preschooler.  To nap in the afternoons and be little.  She deserves that chance.

We still deal with some behavioral issues but I am pretty sure most parents of 5 year olds do.  How we deal with it is different.  Trust me when I say Will and Jenny didn't hit me more than once.  That was not tolerated.  I am still learning how to diffuse those situations with Sarah.  In all our training we learned that when these kids feel frightened or threatened they will fight, flight or freeze.  Looking at pictures of this little girl I imagined her freezing, just withdrawing and detaching.  Um…..no.  The girl is a fighter.  She comes out swinging.  Part of the time it makes me crazy and part of the time it makes so so sad.  She's had to be a fighter.  We will get there though.  Again….time, time, time.

We are so blessed to be her parents.  I have been amazed by Will and Jenny's love for her and acceptance of her differences.  It is a marathon for sure but we are learning every day how to help her be all God want her to be.

Making progress!

Things are moving along very well in our adoption of Emily.  This is such a different experience than Sarah's adoption.  I can't put my finger on it exactly but it is much like a second pregnancy.  I have a much better sence of what I am doing.  I have a better sence of what to freak out about and what not to fret over.  I am much less fervent.  Last time I had the next step done and waiting this time I have had to scurry a couple of times to have things ready on time. A certain 5 year old keeps me on my toes and keeps my time occupied!  I also have a peace about where Emily is that I did not have with Sarah.  I knew her situation was dire- that she needed to get out there as quickly as possible.  With Emily, I want her home as soon as possible.  I want her to be getting the care she needs and to be able to go to school and to have a mother and father and a family that cherishes her.  I have however been told that the nannies at her orphanage are so great and really love the children.  I have also been told they do a great job of preparing them for adoption.  What a blessing that is!  I am praying for the Lord to use this time of waiting to plant the desire for a family in her heart and to ready her for the coming changes.

One really neat thing this time around is the amount of contact we have been able to have.  We sent Sarah a couple of things and a letter while she waited but I was never sure she got them and I knew she could not understand what was happening.  This time however I know Emily gets what we send and it seems very important to me to have as much contact as possible.  We haven't talk to her- we only have some videos but we have been able to send her multiple letters.  Her orphanage is larger than Sarah's and one of Lifelines oldest partnerships  Many families adopt from there.  I have been able to send several letters.  I mailed a package today for Lifeline to take to her next week when they visit.  That has been really fun!

Our dossier is being authenticated right now.  It should be headed to the Chinese consulate this week.  I hope we will be DTC next week.  We are trying to decide who will travel but so much depends on when and we just don't know yet.  I really want everyone to go at least for part of the time.  It will all work out.  See- much more relaxed this time around!  We have ordered Will and Sarah a passport just so we have our bases covered!

I am hopeful to get knew pictures in the next couple of weeks from this trip Lifeline is taking.  I plan to send another package and ask for an update when we are logged in.  Hopefully around the first of July.

I am ready to see her sweet face.  I am growing to love her more each day and am feeling her absence in our family.  It won't be without it's challenges but few things worth doing are.  We are preparing and praying and trying to wait patiently!

6 months

When we were in China adopting Sarah I remember thinking I couldn't wait for her to be home six  months.  I love seeing the transformation these children have after being home and I was anxious to see how she would blossom and grow.  Well it's been six months!  I can hardly believe it.

This picture was taken just moments after they handed her to us.  She was tiny and frail and so much a baby.  She was so thirsty - she just drank and drank from the cup of water I had brought with me.  She didn't shed a tear.   They told us later when we visted the orphanage that she never made any sounds or words but as soon as they got in the car headed to Guangzhou she started saying "Mamamamamama" over and over.  They were amazed.  Now I don't think she understood or was actaually saying "mamma" but I do think she knew she was leaving.  I prayed for months that God would show her me in her dreams and give her a desire for a mother through her dreams.  She can't tell me that right now, but I believe He answered that prayer.  

This picture was taken a few days ago.  She just looked so cute that day.  She likes to hold on to the food when we grocery shop.  She is no longer so baby like and very much like a preschooler.

This was also taken last week.  Such a beautiful girl.

I was going through her clothes the other day changing out seasons and I pulled out the clothes she wore while we were in China and it made me sad to put them away.  Those are the closest things to baby clothes I will ever have for her.  Her gotcha day clothes are her going home clothes.  I  mourn the things I don't have for her.  Baby pictures, baby clothes, first steps.  But I rejoice for the firsts I do get to see.  And I am so thankful she is here!

Before I recap the last month here are some highlights from the first six months!

*She has gained 11 pounds and grown 2 inches!  Tonight she is wearing pajamas I brought to China that absolutely fell to the floor she was so skinny.  They are a little snug now.

*She is gaining some language slowly, slowly, but it is coming.  Her words are:

"Mama" - this is an all purpose word but she has a definite different tone when she wants me.

"GO!"  This is done along with the sign and it sure is cute!

"Let it go" Like every other five year old in America, mine is obssesed with Frozen

"All Done"

"More"

"Mouth"/"nose"  Sometimes we get these, not consistently.

*She tested at an 18 month level 6 months ago, last month we retested and she tested at a solid three years old.  I'll take it!!

*She can run, climb, jump and catch a ball.  She could not do any of those things 6 months ago.

*We have had all major tests, surgeries and evaluations done now.  We get her AFOs tomorrow and that is the last thing for awhile.  We have a good set schedule of speech and PT.  

*We have made a decision about school for next year.  She is going to go to Covenant preschool a few days a week to the three year old class.  She could technically go to Kindergarten but I just want her to be able to be a preschooler and we have worked very hard to get in wth the therapists we are seeing and want to continue to see them as we continue to evaluate what she can hear and work toward speech.

*Sleep continues to be an issue.  She is sleeping in a twin bed next to ours.  She is finally over a cold and is beginning to sleep a little better.  She does nap, but only if I lay with her.  I fought this for awhile, but have decided that this is the Lord's gift to me.  An hour each afternoon to rest and snuggle with her.  

We are just so proud of her.  She especially seems to be loving the warm weather and getting outside.  We try to get her to the park once a week or so.  She loves it!  She seems to be growing and passing through stages so fast.  We continue to work on some food issues and expressing frustration in a better way - as in spitting isn't nice!  We will get there!

Here are the highlights for the last month!

She rode a speial adaptive bike in PT for the first time.  You can tell from her face how much she loved it!

She stayed up on current events.  We are trying to teach her to be an informed citizen.

She hung out in the hammock with her cousin Holt.

First Easter!!  Four Egg Hunts, egg dying and cookies and of course the annual egg toss.  Pretty sure she thought we were crazy!

First Egg hunt at the City of Madison egg hunt.  She did not get this at all.

Mom and me at the egg hunt

Showing off my climbing skills

Next egg hunt at the Lake- did a little better. Brothers are awesome!

Church egg hunt!

Making cookies!

Dying Eggs!

Easter Morning.  

Egg hunt at Lulu's- now she's got it figured!!

I'm supposed to throw the egg??!!

First time to sing in church.  Precious!!

First tornado.  

                                               

                                                             I've got the bacon pillow- now what do I do?

We went to Birmingham for an MRI and she was casted here at UMC for her AFOs.

 It is has been an exciting, exhausting, challenging six months.  I can only imagine what the next six will bring!

Forward movement

You would think I would be better at waiting this time around but the truth is I'm just not. We received PA for Emily on February 20 and started our homestudy update immediately and although it was more like starting conpletely over than just an update it went pretty quickly. I had the finished homestudy in my inbox before the end of April which was my goal but for whatever reason it took two more weeks for it to get approved and signed and back to Birmingham. 

Our immigration paperwork was at the Agnecy waiting on the homestudy. My goal had been to have that off by the first of May but we missed that deadline. Finally on Thursday afternoon I received an email from our social worker that it had arrived and she had been able to get the immigration paperwork mailed off. So glad!!!

Now we wait again. Hurry up and wait. This immigration step should hopefully not take quite as long as it did with Sarah because our approval is still good. We are simply asking for an extension and an addendum to include an age change to what we are approved for. We were approved for two children ages 4-6 and now we need to be approved up to age 13 because Emily will be 13 before we get there. We are hopeful that this will take 3 weeks instead of 6 and then we will authenticate and be DTC mid June hopefully!  That puts hopefully on track to travel in November again. 

I'm getting ready to send her another care package. I want to continually remind her we are coming!  

Update on Emily

We are working away to get Emily home as soon as possible.  Things have moved along really well.  We have had a great social worker who has really been helping move the home study along.  We already had much of the paperwork gathered so that was helpful.  Our medical forms about drove me to drink but we finally got them done right.  Directions people.  Read them.

We got word yesterday that the home study is written and is being approved.  That is great news because I was hoping t apply for a grant with an April 30 cut off date.  We will cut it close but I think we will make it.

What's next?  Immigration.  Many people have asked if we had to start completely over since we just did all  this and the answer is pretty much yes.  Our home study was shorter because most of our education was still good.  We had to redo all our clearances and medicals, but since it was already written it just had to be updated.  We shaved about a month off there.  This fist round of immigration will be another place that is not a total redo.  We were already approved for 2 children so we have to file and extension and an updated home study and wait for approval.  We will have to be refingerprinted but don't have to do that now.   After that it is the same process as last time.  We will have our dossier authenticated and then sent to China.  We will wait for a Logan date and then start the dreaded LOA wait.  We are hoping to travel between October and the end of the year.

A sweet family traveling a few weeks ago took a few pictures for us.  It is such a gift to get these pictures.  We received pictures several times with Sarah's adoption and some of them were much to difficult to post.  All of Emily' pictures have been good and we know she is being taken care off.  We are anxious to get her home and get her healthy and the help and school she needs and deserves but we are not fearful and that is a nice change.

Here are the sweet pictures we got.

We were happy to see her sitting up in chair.  Our previous pictures had her sitting on the floor or in her wheelchair so this is good.  We also have precious video of her doing embroidery work.  What a girl!!

I spoke to someone the other day hat has spent a good amount of time with her and she just went on about how sweet she is.  About how she is the kind of person you just want with you.  We are so ready to have her with us!

5 months

On April 5th Sarah had been with us for 5 months!  I can't believe it!  What a 5 months it has been.  The very most exciting thing to happen was this!

Hearing Aids!

We are so very excited that Sarah finally has her hearing Aids.  She is doing so well with them and we can tell a huge differencr in what she can hear.  I am getting better at putting them in and she is getting better at letting me.  She is good about leaving them in and she wears them all day.  Lots of people have asked me if she is speaking English now that she can hear.  The answer is no.  She has never hard language clearly before now and we are still assessing what she can actually hear.  It helps to think of her language abilities like a newborn.  Think of how long it takes a newborn to aquire language and that is what we are looking at.  She is understanding a lot of what we say and she has some signs that she uses.  We are making signfigant process but we have a very long way to go.  We are so proud of her and so glad she is able to hear now!

Also this month we went to the Memphis zoo during spring break.  If you are wondering f the Memphis zoo during spring break might too muchfor a newly adopted child the answer would be yes.  Yes is is, as evidenced by the ever increasing zoned out look on her face in these pictures - which is better than the screaming.  It was a long day.  But we saw Pandas.  

Also on the zoo trip my 13 year old complained, um..constantly, that she was tired.  So so tired.  So tired mom.  That combined with a few days of finding her like this:

                                        

Combined with a yearly check up ended us up looking like this:

This is the look 13 year olds give you when you take their picture in the hospital

 Jenny has been diagnosed with type one diabetes.  To say we were shocked is an understatement and we are still reeling somewhat.  She is an amazing kid though and has taken the bull by the horns and is managing things very well.  We are still working it all out but we are so proud of her.

Just a few days after we got home from the hospital Jenny was in the school play.

All of that was a lot of excietent for one month so we hae been taking it easy for a few weeks.

Playing with the Weeble treehouse

Whoever sold this at the Little Feet sale… thank you.  She couldn't love it more!

 Reading Frozen at Barnes and Noble.

Hanging out on the trampoline at Pop and Peanuts.

Taking selfless while we wait for Jenny at piano.

It has been a trying, hard, busy month for my girls but we are haging in there.  Will had a good month too.  His show choir went to a national competition in Nashville and had a great time.  We didn't get to go so I don't have pictures.  Fun was had by all though.

We are praying things begin to slow down a little but we are headed straight into May and anybody with school age kids will attest to the fact that May is otherwise known as "Please no more programs, concerts, testing, parties- just let me make it to summer" month.  

It's all good though.

A trying month

I am way over due a 5 month update.  Not that I think everyone out there is dying for an update every month but this is sort of like my baby book for Sarah.  A place to look back at everything that had gone on during each month.  Six months is just around the corner so I am way behind, but in an effort to keep it transparent.  I am weary.

These last 2 months have been the hardest of all my 16 years of motherhood.  My precious 5 year olds is working hard to heal a broken heart and learning how to be a part of a family.  As beautiful as it is, it is hard and it is messy.  We have had some hard hard days.  My precious 13 yr old, Jenny has had a major, life altering medical emergency.  We are still reeling a little from that and learning how to manage her new diagnoses.  And my almost 16 year old, is well…..almost 16.  Enough said.

And I am working to get my 4th child home.  I long for her most days.  Her sweet spirit shines through her pictures and the reports we get.  I am anxious to get her here.

I am struggling too.  Finding where I fit and finding where Sarah fits.  I tire of the looks she gets when she doesn't answers some one's questions or makes noises some don't understand.  She is such a joy but I do get a glimpse of what the world sees sometimes and it hurts my mothers heart. I still feel very disconnected from things and am struggling to find a place to fit.

A few years ago I complained to the Lord that I was bored.  That makes me laugh today.  The truth of the matter is that what God loves Satan hates and he attacks with fury.  Shane and I both feel like we are under attack.  We are buckling down to protect our children, our marriage and our family. He may sling a few arrows and hit his mark form time to time, but he will not win.

We did have some very good and exciting things happen during Sarah's 5th month home and I will write about those soon.  We are getting into good rhythm and for the most part things are really good, but my heart is so very heavy for my children these days.  We covet your prayers.