Or maybe not waiting so well. I'm afraid that's been the case this week. and that's not such a good thing because we are way at the beginning of things. Our agency gave us a check list of the order things will go in. We haven't even check off number one yet. UGH! Our home study is moving along well. We have actually done everything we need to do on our end. All our papers are done and I will stick the last few in the mail today. We attended a seminar last weekend that we had to go to in order to do our next meeting. We have it scheduled but with scheduling issues it is not until March 11. We will have one more interview after that. In my mind I wanted us to be finished with the interviews by the end of February. That's not gonna happen and for a couple of days I took my eyes off who was in control here.
Here's a hint: It's not me.
I am an admitted control freak. I'm a list maker and a doer. I'm not a good sitter. I have a hard time even watching a 30 minute show on TV and not doing something else. But I'm not in control here. It's easy to begin to feel like I'm at the mercy of social workers or government agencies. It's easy to feel like I'm going to get lost in bureaucracy. But they aren't in control either.
And today I am choosing to find peace in knowing that my God is in control. He knows my heart. He knows my daughter's name. He knows I want to see her face and hold her and he knows what it is like to not be able to hold your child. He knows.
His timing is perfect. He is good.
One of my favorite verses when my Daddy died was I Corinthians 13:12
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
I think one of the most beautiful things we will get to see in heaven is how it all makes sense. Why things happened the way then do. We get to see God's plan in total.
Today I am committing Psalms 130:5 to memory. Hiding it in my heart.
"I will wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in His word I put my hope!"
And what does His word promise me?
He knows her. He knows her name, her face, her needs. Psalms 139
He gives us strength when we wait on Him. Isaiah 40:31
All things work together for good. Romans 8:28
He helps us in our weakness. Romans 8:26
So today I am going to readjust my attitude! I am going to pray for my daughter in China. I am going to get ready for Jenny's birthday. I'm going to enjoy my teenagers good mood.
I'm also going to move the coffee table from the playroom to the keeping room. That's part of the rearrange the house plan and it will satisfy the need to do something!!