Shane and I had to fill out a form for our adoption a few weeks ago. It's called a desired child form. It's not the most fun form we've had to fill out. We started it more than once and just had to put it away. But it was time to do it so we prayed over it and started checking boxes.
Yes. This is a need we can handle.
No. This is not a need we can handle.
Gross! I hated checking NO. It told Shane I wish we could have just checked yes and left the others blank. But we had to check yes or no.
Our daughter will have some sort of special need. It runs the gamete. Minor. Major. Noticeable. Not noticeable. Right now who knows. But I know this.
We love her already.
I read a quote the other day that has stayed with me.
"If you are sufficient for the task then it isn't big enough."
WOW! What can I handle? What the Lord chooses for me. Who can I parent? Who the Lord has me parent. Will it be easy. Nope!
I love the line in a Casting Crown song that says:
"Break our heart for what breaks yours!"
That's what I want. I want my heart to break and be open to who ever God has for us. We are so excited to see who that is!
One of my favorite verses is:
"To whom much is given much is required."
Most of the time this is used in regard to material possessions and there is no doubt that even in a tight month we are blessed. The very fact that I writing this sitting at a computer in my own house and the fact that you have a computer and the ability to read it shows how blessed we are. But I am coming to realize that it means more than that.
Our families are not perfect. Not by any stretch. But I know they are unique. I know it is unique that Shane and I both come from families where our parent's marriage is intact. I know that it is unique that we were raised very similarly. I know it's unique that our families are friends. We are so blessed with precious sister in laws and brother in laws. We have an abundance of nieces and nephews. We are so so very blessed with our families.
And so we feel like much is required of us. And we are excited to see what that is.
Who is our desired child? Yes, we had mark a form with ages and gender and needs we could accept but we wait anxiously to see who exactly she is.
Because no matter what she is a child desired.