Four weeks ago yesterday Shane and I had a short conversation that started us on down this path. It wasn't long and involved. It was basically me saying, "I really think we should do this." and Shane saying, "Me too." It was the conversation that put into motion what we had been discussing off and on for years. The subject has come up every now and then since before Will was even born. Never serious, just wouldn't that be great. About 5 years ago the discussions got a little more serious. We were settled after several major life changes, the death of a parent, building a house, changing schools, jobs, etc. We decided to "look into it." I did A LOT of reading and research and we went to an information meeting at an agency. We really wanted to do it but just felt unsure. Shortly there after we underwent a lot of medical testing with Will and he was diagnosed with Celiac. While certainly not the worst news in the world it was life changing and took a lot of time and adjustment. It wasn't the right time to move forward. Which isn't to say the desire or the conviction that this is what we were called to do went away.
I like to write (surprise) and when I have something on my mind I have to write it down. Doesn't matter if its the grocery list or a prayer it gets written down. I have filled pages and pages with prayers about this adoption. I have prayed for my daughter before I knew if she would ever be mine. The desire and conviction was strong and the confirmation was everywhere! If I saw an article on adoption or read a blog, or heard of someone adopting I did not think, "That is wonderful" I thought "That's what I'm supposed to do." The Lord's voice was strong but I also had good arguments. Here they are in no particular order:
"We are in a very good place parenting wise. I haven't given someone a bath in years. I can not go backwards."
"We are in a very hard place parenting wise. We have a teenager and an almost teenager. Uncharted water for me. Can't go backwards."
"It might take a long time. I'm no spring Chicken."
"It is expensive."
"We don't have a big house. We built this house with 2 kids in mind, not three.
And the God decided to bring in the big guns. My children. When your 11 year old daughter begins to tell you how she wants to adopt a daughter when she grows up and when your 14 year old son tells you out of the blue in the car one day that we should adopt someone you know its real and that the Lord is speaking.
My prayer has always been that if this is what we are to do that we would both have the desire. That there would be no having to"convince" each other. For the last 6 months and the month leading up to our conversation the desire and thoughts and hopes for our yet to be child have been overwhelming. I could not get it off my mind. Neither could Shane. God is faithful and we are moving forward.
I adore my husband for lots of reasons. This is one of my favorites. It took him awhile to decide he wanted to get married but when he did he didn't want to wait for a wedding-he was ready for a marriage. When we decided to start a family. He didn't want to wait through a pregnancy-he wanted to be a dad. Same with this. He is ready now!
Four weeks ago today we told our children we were adopting a sister for them. Jenny literally wept tears of joy. She has wanted this for so long. She just kept crying and smiling and laughing. It was one of the most precious moments of my life. Will too was so excited. He made me laugh when he said, "If we keep doing this can we get a brother from Africa next time." One step at a time Buddy! They immediately started asking logistical questions like, "Where will she sit at the table? and "What room will be hers?" I love that they immediately started making a place for her. Her room will be the only room left and that's the room that is now the playroom. Will asked, "Where will we put the Wii?" Not in a whiny voice just a matter of fact question. And it's a good question. And it's kind of what all this comes down to. We just decided that none of the excuses were good enough. I don't want to get to Heaven and have God ask me why I didn't do what he asked, Why I skipped the blessing he had for me and for our family and my answer have to be "We didn't know where to put the Wii."
So that's how we ended up here. We are excited. We know the road is not easy but with obedience comes peace and we are ready. It's been a long time coming!
As far as progress goes we have our first home study interview on Friday. That will mean the process is officially underway. We had not heard from anyone for a couple of weeks because of the holidays and I was feeling especially anxious yesterday afternoon. I was hoping to hear from our social worker and as the afternoon wore on I was sure we wouldn't and I was growing anxious. But right at 5:00 we got a call to set up our interview. Perfect timing! I know that this is pretty much a waiting game so we are praying for patience everyday. Shane reminded me of that yesterday.
In addition to having to write things down I'm also a list maker. My prayers are often lists. So here is my prayer list for where we are.
*We do have a teenager and an almost teenager. Pray for them as they prepare for a sister. Pray for us as we parent them through this.
*Pray for our daughter in China. Through out this Christmas season my prayer has been that someone who loves Jesus was near her. That is my continued prayer.
*Pray for the process. That we will cross our T's and dot our I's and as best it can the process will move along.
Happy New Year! Can't wait to see what this year holds!